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spacer.gif   American Open Mike: Marisol Cruz
Posted by : cj on Wednesday, December 21, 2005 - 04:16 PM
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American Open Mike:  New American Voices .

** Marisol Cruz **


Analyzing Me

What is it about me that warrants you treat me like garbage?
And makes me doubt myself and feel unworthy to be in your presence?
To deny myself and allow insecurity to creep in and mess with my head
To be deprived of love because I trusted all that you said.
I should know better! Than to let such negativity get the best of me
To stop believing and continue feeding the void that I canít see
But somehow the feeling of disappointment just seems to win
It takes a hold of me with such force that my thoughts are considered a sin
All of this chaos inside of me for someone so undeserving
The battle of will for wanting the victory is seemingly unnerving
Trying to escape is harder than feeding all of these mixed emotions
The war within and in my mind surpasses beyond any Seas or any Oceans
When I start to analyze myself I can never come to a clear conclusion
Is what I experience considered frail to that which there is no solution?
My weakness overpowers me at times and I drown in my own despair
I will conquer! One day and share my defeat or my triumph, but will you even care?


Admiration

Have I ever told you
how much you mean to me?
How I admire your ways
and wish that I could be
A little more like you---
so mild-mannered, so true.
Sadness seems to avoid
me when I'm around you.

Confidence, re-assurance,
a total lack of fear,
Are virtues that touch me
whenever you are near.
I often wonder what
would have happened to me
Without your guiding hand--
but God meant this to be.

You've made me so aware
of His path and His plan.
Due to your direction,
I've come to understand.
Your life is so unique--
it's goodness as a whole .
Following in your steps
is soothing to my soul.

Mere words cannot portray
the way I feel inside.
Devotion such as this,
is so hard to describe.
You're all that I admire--
all that I long to be.
But God grant me the Grace
to willingly be me.



The Power of You

I question this power you have over me
From the touch of your eyes travels ecstasy
The mere sound of your voice can magically soothe
These emotions that rage through my calmest mood

I question the power though I know we agree
I surrendered control--you gained it through me
Then used it against me in ways that cut deep
By draining my dreams and disrupting my sleep

You cannot deny that my love is steadfast
Faithful, forgiving, it could even outlast
Coldness, indifference, neglect, silence, and pain
For this power keeps pulling me to you again

I still crumble at the first taste of your lips
I collapse at the thrill of your fingertips
Resistance, on my part, cannot stand a chance
You play the music and your puppet will dance

You will not let go and you won't let me be
I feel somewhere down deep you must care for me
I try to escape--it's not easy to do
As long as I'm trapped by the power of you


Marisol Cruz lives in Vernon Hills, IL. She has been writing poetry since she was in grade school. "Now as an adult Iím able to let my creative side out in a more mature manner," Cruz says. "My biggest influences and inspirations have been all the experiences lived and my two daughterís who have taught me how to hope, believe and appreciate life and most off be grateful, thankful and humble."


Copyright 2005, all rights reserved.

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